5 Myths of Marriage That Have it So Wrong
Before I said I Do to my husband over 21 years ago, I heard many different things about married life. Some things good, some things not so good and some things were just plain outrageous. For example, there was one myth that I was told years ago before I had even considered getting married. I was told by an older member of the family to make sure that when I got married, make sure it was in June. This would ensure that my husband would be good to me. What? Must be a joke right? Maybe a little marriage humor? I thought it was. Well, the person who told me this "saying" did not seem to find my laughter very amusing.
Needless to say, it was an awkward moment when I realized it wasn't a joke but, some sort of old wives tale or myth that I should take very serious. This wasn't the only saying or myth that I heard about being married, there were a few more. However, I have found in my marriage of 21+ years that these myths completely have no merit. Zip, zilch, zero!
A few more myths that I have found that are simply not valid are:
Marriage is 50/50
50/50 sounds nice doesn't it? You and your spouse giving equally to your marriage every single day. But wait. What constitutes 50/50? How is it measured? Are you and you spouse going to keep a tally on everything you both do? Is paying the mortgage equal to caring for your children? Let's be real, this cannot work. Trying to measure and keep score only leads to resentment, unrealistic expectations and a bitterness that marriage can definitely do without.
A Happy Wife, Makes a Happy Life
I have heard this so many times in my life. Don't get me wrong, The concept seems really sweet. If the wife is always happy then in turn the hubby will enjoy a happy life as well. What's wrong with that? A lot, a whole, whole lot. When you put this to action, it ends up being something that leaves only one person happy and one person miserable, especially over time. This myth brings no need to compromise and no need for finding happy mediums in marriage. It's always about the wife and what she wants and it ignores the wants and desires of the husband.
Happy Couples Don't Disagree
Yes they do. Yes they do. Being in a happy and secure marriage doesn't mean that disagreements want happen. Lets be real with each other, husband and wife are not going to see eye to eye on everything. That is human nature. It is how you handle those differences that will either weaken or strengthen the bonds of marriage.
You Can Kiss Your Sex Life Goodbye
The way movies and television depict marriage can really make you believe this one. Studies, however, have shown that the married are actually having more sex than the single. Why is that? With factors like trust, emotional intimacy and open communication involved, it's no wonder why married folk are getting it on so much.
A Big Rock Means Big Love
With the pressures of what society views as a good marriage, the ring size unfortunately weighs in with a lot of importance. Too much importance. It's something that some women expect with certain and specific expectations including how big it is. The bigger the ring, the better the marriage. The same society that puts pressure on women to have a big flashy ring is the same society that shows us that many carats don't keep couples together. Bottom line, putting a high price tag on the ring doesn't truly symbolize an actual marriage. The same could be said for super expensive weddings.